In that hallowed time BC (before children) Mark and I got it in our head one year that we would dedicate ourselves to health. We just didn't want to have to leave the house in order to do so. At least we were thinking realistically about ourselves. Anyway, we had a big old conversation about what we wanted to get. My mom had bought a stairmaster once in her life and I remember her bringing it home and laughing crazily when a friend suggested that inside of six months it would be a place to hang your clothes when drying. Not her, she would NEVER do that. To her credit, I think the stairmaster lived up to it’s potential for about eight months.

So when we were faced with this issue we wanted to make sure we were really dedicated. We were not going to succumb, yo. We bought a treadmill and a weight machine and stuck it in the spare room/office and vowed to use it at least thrice a week.

I'm pretty sure they got used as a laundry rack inside of two weeks. The machines lived with us for another two years as a very expensive reminder of how you cannot outlive genetics.

I have been too ashamed to actually buy anything else but have coveted a whole list of things, including the iGallop, but that's likely because I had fantasies of me eating a cheeseburger while riding it and fulfilling my husband's jaw dropping response to that Carl's Jr commercial. Everybody wins in that scenario.  The Trampoline also had promise, if not for these boobs which could have caused a black eye if I tried jumping without first strapping them down with duct tape. The strip tease classes have always been interesting as well, but I bust into maniacal giggling at any attempt to be "sexy" so I can only see that working against me.

But I have never, ever, in my whole career of "where the hell did this flab come from?" wanted anything as badly as I want the wii fit. I covet it. Pretty sure I won't go to hell for winning it, though. I've considered entering a life of crime to get one since the budget doesn't bear it but I'm pretty sure that's not the path to peace. See, now I'm wishing I had kept all that expensive gym equipment so I could sell it and buy the wii. Hey, a girl can dream.

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This entry inspired by Jenny’s Fit In Only Six Minutes A Day! Contest. Sadly, I don't expect to win because I haven't purchased enough ridiculous stuff in my life. Is OK. Any chance to win a wii and I'm there. Dude, maybe I should have made this fiction? Whatever, it's way better than the pity party I previously posted.

I've been stuck in Introspection Land lately.  All these things are happening around me that I should be acknowledging (like Jen's amazing Zine for Africa being on sale this weekend only: see it here and order one, I did!) and people around me that really needed someone to say Happy Mother's Day and yet, I can't seem to get out of my own issues.  It's like I've read the manual for proper social interaction and then lost it just as I walked across the boarder for a new country.  And the more I know about what I should have done and didn't, I revert to pretending I don't read the language.

I don't really have a reason as to why.  I think it has something to do with being primary care on the kids, working in a job that requires way more hours than I can give and having a home that needs too much care.  The social stuff (which I need and love) just loses out on brain space.  

But I'm trying, I swear.  I'm terrible at having relationships outside of established groupings (like playgroup). I really like the women I know because of my kids but so rarely ask to get to know them on a one to one basis.  Making BFF's was so mush easier in school.   Last week I emailed one of these mamas and invited her over to play with her two kids.  We had a lovely time and it was wicked fun to see her get all glassy eyed when I offered to make her a "fancy" lunch.  With her toddler and newborn she claimed that she hadn't eaten any beautiful food in a long time.  I loved providing it.

And yet, the world is still too big sometimes. I want to be a good mother and a good wife and a good Managing Director and a good friend and all this leads me to daydreams of a life somewhere else with no responsibilities and where I can just... hide.  I don't know how to do it all and then the even deeper reality hits me: it's not even THAT MUCH!  Most people in the world have at least this much on their plate and seem to do it just fine.  I feel like I need to just SHAKE IT OFF.

Or maybe I just need a nap.

How do you balance all the areas of your life?
 

Busy days and computer problems have left this space rather bare.  And now it looks as though my girls have the chicken pox and I'll be spending a whole lot of time comforting little people.  No worries.

But hey, here's something to keep you coming back: Lily and I sharing a harmonica & kazoo duet.  Rock on, my imaginary friends... you're in the company of music genius. 

If the video is being bitchy, try viewing it on Flickr here. 

 
I spent about two hours today searching through old photos and uploading my favorites to Flickr.  There's a seriously stupid amount of new pics there if you care to take a look.  As always, the stuff with my kids face on it is marked for Friends and Family only so if you cannot look, sorry 'bout that.

Of most interesting note is a full set of photos from when we took a three week road trip with a then 14-month-old Lily.  It was amazingly fun to see all of those photos again and relive that experience through the images.  It makes me want to hit the road again.  If you'd like to see any of those shots, just click on the image above or contact me for a guest pass. 

 
We had an awesome anniversary.  I dropped off the girls at Grandma's, took care of some paperwork for Lily's school and then went to join Mark, who had been working on getting the boat ready to sail.  We had planned to sail across the bay to get lunch but by the time we got over to the island it was getting late.  So we stopped by a friends restaurant and grabbed a bite to eat, chatting her up about all the fantastic changes they've made since taking over the joint. 

We got back on the road to the boat launch and I caught some great (but long) video of us hoisting the mast and then dropping the boat in the water.  After a couple hours on the out I was starting to feel a bit queasy and needed to head back in.  Once we got out of the channel and started concentrating on tacking, the flow of work, the rhythm of shifting from side to side, me on the jib and Mark on the main sail and tiller, I felt better and enjoyed the last bit of sailing quite a bit.

We finished up the day with a lovely dinner out where I got a wee bit drunk and we ate brilliantly tasty farm-to-table food.  Picked up the girls from Grandma's and headed home.  Not a bad way to celebrate, if you ask me.

Click on the photo above for more images from our day out. 

As of today I have been married to that wannabe hippie dude for eight years.

He bought me a Gorillapod to celebrate. 

And now he's going to take me sailing out on the bay, across to a fancy restaurant where we will share a meal (literally, the place is pricy so we'll split a plate).

My gift to you?  See below: 

Me: Wow, your bed making skills are crap.
Mark: No they're not.
Me: (Looking pointedly at our bed, then back to him with eyebrows raised.)
Mark: It's not that my skills are crap.
Me: No?
Mark: No, it's that I didn't use all of them.

Mark took the girls to playgroup today while I was working. Lily had herself a rather large crash with a skinned knee and toe and the drama?  Well let's just say that I heard about it from several moms.  Not only was there an amazing display of acting skillz (I'm thinking our background in theatre has screwed us with our offspring) but she got sand on her hand and in all the distraction of her performance she reflexively LICKED her hand in order to clean the sand off.

You see how that might notch up the drama a wee bit?  Yeah, I thought you might.

At knitting tonight when the moms were all discussing this event, Lorien reminded me that when Lily was upset the other day she randomly licked her hand.   I'm thinking she's got a wee bit of a quirk here.  OK, here's where all you goggle divas diagnose her with something freaky and then try to break it to me gently that she only has a couple months to live.  Thanks for that!

Also reported was how awesome Mark was with her when she went down.  Everyone commented on how calm he was, how connected they were to each other, how very great Mark was as a dad.  Good to hear, even though I already know. 

My blog is being bitchy. Bitchy blog refuses to load the "Create Journal Entry" page and makes me curse at the screen.  Then I reload and it's all, "What?  I'm here for you, baby!  Come and give me some sugar!" and I'm all, "I'm confused?  Why is this so difficult? Can't we just work together?" and it's all, "Dude. Relax."

You all know "relax" is like telling a woman that yes, you DO look fat in those jeans, right?  Don't ever tell a woman to "relax".  Male and Lesbian readers, you're welcome.

Anyway, just a few updates to share:

1. I am busy. So busy.  Good times.

2. Mark got the (as of yet unphotographed) boat in the water today and it only took on about 1/2 an inch of water in the three hours after it splashed down.  This is a good thing, especially since Mark's pretty sure where it was coming in.

3.  I went to a tea tasting party today and got all hopped up on caffeine and sugar.  That was nice.

4. Yesterday we had a little May Day party at the park in a faerie theme.  It was awesome.  If you're one of my friends of family contacts on Flickr, go check out the photos (click on the one of Lily above for the full set).    

5. Lily and Anya have been exposed to the Chicken Pox.  I'm hoping they actually get it now as it's actually a fairly good time for us to go through this, despite the fact that we're going into birthday season 'round these parts. But if I drop off the face of the earth it's because I've got one kid clinging to me with her thumb attached to her face and the other working her drama queen gene.  Also? Building my arsenal of alternative medicine CP tricks to treat.  I'm gonna be an expert, yo.

6. I don't think there's a six.  I think I'm done.  

What's new with you? 

Much to my surprise, I came home tonight to discover that we have yet another sailboat.  Unlike the last one Mark brought home, this one is actually sea worthy and comes with some extras (like an anchor, working sails and, um, NO HOLES in the keel). It's a 1972 twenty-two foot, South Coast Seacraft and isn't current named, so nobody needs to get all crazy about the curse of "renaming" it. I've only seen her in the dark so will try to get a couple shots of her tomorrow to post.  Mark and Nate are taking her for her maiden (as maiden as one can get at 36-years-old) voyage on Saturday to make sure she really is safe.

Funny side note.  We bought our amazing home from a gentleman who, as a teen, fled the boarders of Yugoslavia while under gunfire to make a new life in the US.  Guess how the dude Mark bought the boat from got here?  Not on this boat, if that's what you're thinking.  But it is a classic tale of a Cuban and a raft and a whole lot of luck.  Mark says it's a good omen.  

I can only hope he's right.